1072 days agoBlaire Roper
1891 days ago
Over the past year or two i have stop keeping up this site, this make me sad as i was hoping it to be a place my family could use to keep up to date. This may change as I am thinking more that I should use it as a place to just post my feeling and what is going on in my life. It sound a little self center and it may be. But I feel that I am not using this and my other sites I should do this or pull them down.
So it is use them. It will be good for me to push my self pass the things i have been letting stop me.
As i sit here looking forward to the years a head of me, I am thankful that I can as they are a gift. I am now 49 years old and I can say that I am happy with my life the bad and the good and I know that I am luckier then some. I can say I love my family and know that they love me. I also know that they worry about my health because they care and want me to have a full life.
I have know joy in my life that other have not and wish that they too could know the joy and happens that i know. I have come to understand that for me I can only take life one day at a time and try to make the most this day. To let go of yesterday and not to live for tomorrow.
To today may I make the most of it. Blaire
2403 days ago
Monday, March 29, 2010
Over the past few weeks I have come to understand that it is ok to hate someone if you do it in the name the lord or in gods name. Also that man can say that God hates someone if them use a church to do it.
I have not understand this, I not sure I still under stand this. The church I grow up in told me I must love everyone, Love thought that hate me. To forgive all that did me wrong. That only the lord can judge me for what I do in my life. I hear the God loves me and that the lord give his life for all man kind. Not just the ones that going to church, but all man kind. The lord gave his life for all of us, he asked to not sin and he is the only one who can judge because he gave has life.
Please understand that you can not save me, nor did I ask any of you to do that. I am a big person and I under stand that I will be judge by the Lord. the question is do you? I still love you, when someone hurt me I end up loving them more. I do not have hate in my heart, I only have room for love. If you think I am living wrong let the Lord take care of that, he may know my heart better then you do. I trust the Lord with all that I have and with my life. You may not believe that but I do not care if you do.
If you want nothing to do with me that is up to you and I will not ask you to change. So please do not think you have the right to tell me how to live my life, any more then I do you.
If you feel that you have God on your side maybe you should ask your self does god take side. I know that I never have god on my self if I take away someone choses and never will I have him when I hate. Where hate is God is not. Yes I will haft to pay the price for how I lived my life. But that is for me to do no one can do that for me.
Please do not think you are helping, it is not your place, that is for God and the lord. If you love me then do just that love me for who I am, not for what you think or want me to be.
I love my family no matter what, no matter what is said or done I will always love them.
Love is a hard thing, if I can still love someone no matter what. That is what I see the Lord did for me and for all man kind. It is so much harder to Love then to hate.
2443 days ago
This month so far has been so much more then I could have hoped for. I have stepped out of my safe place, I put my self out for the world to see. I am still here after doing this and wow the changes that I have seen in my self. I would have never believed I feel like I have the past 3 weeks. Then their is all the people I have met and got to know just a little bit. I know that the young people coming out of school are wanting to make the world a better place and I believe that they will.
I was asked If I wanted to and would I do a small part in a show at Westminster College. I feel I must say that I took many hours to think about if I should or could. My health is not what it was last year and does not look like it is going to get better. I have come to understand that is just the way it is and I am trying to make the best of it. So with that in mind I had to think what the cost to me would be, with the drive and the hours. But something inside of me said you need to do this, I try to listen to that voice when it comes, But in my mind I could not see how I would do it. So I said yes, that first meeting with the cast touched me, it touched my heart and My good friends heart. She to was asked to do a part, she said yes.
This cast came from many ages and back grounds, but came together for this show. I had wanted to do this show for a few years now but never felt that I would. I guess I did not feel I had the right to ask to be a part or that I was an outsider. Their are so many things in this life we must work for or try to become, but many times we do not get there or become because we stop or because others tell us we can not, that it is wrong and will do what they can to keep us from it.
That is something that changed for me in this show, I know I am the only one that can or will stop me any more. Yes people will try to stand in my way, but I can and will just go around them. I am happy and I believe in me, some may say that is wrong but I say why, how can that be. If I had believe in my self sooner maybe I could help others more. Next month will be 14 years that I have lived, after being told that I may have 6 months to a year to live because of Cancer.
The day I was told that I had Cancer I can remember all things I did not think I could do with my life ie ( seeing my kids grow up ) and much more. I am so thankful that I was given the gift of the last 14 years. I have at this time moved forward and done so many things like seeing my kids grow up and so much more. I am who I am in part because of my past, but more because of who i want to be. Having Cancer has shown me that if I wanted to do things it was up to me.
I guess that is part of what I saw in the women of this cast, that they can do what ever they set their minds to. They all worked hard at the parts they had in the show and moved forward. They give me hope. They took the whole person that is who I am and said that they cared. They saw more in me then I did at times. I am so blessed to have been around them. I guess that we us gave of ourselves not wanting any more then to do a great show. Wow they did give a great show, they moved me. It is not what you get in life it is what you can give!
2545 days ago
Happy Birthday Alex, Karla, Shelby, Teresa, Tony & Robert. We love you and hope that you each have an awesome day.